It is More Damaging
Than You Think
The reason that verbal abuse from your wife is so damaging is that this type of negativity affects you more than any positivity. One bad cancels out a thousand goods.
You cannot just shut it out. No one is that strong.
I know you are not in constant contact with your wife. You are at work. There is time sleeping. There are errands to run, chores to do and life to attend to.
The actual time you are being verbally abused will not be that much.
The problem is that a little verbal abuse goes a long way.
Any abuse is damaging.
And it is cumulative. The seconds build up into minutes and then into hours and then into days, weeks, months and years. Your life will be one long string of either hearing abuse, dwelling on past abuse or waiting for future abuse.
It will be your life. The pleasure of life will be gone, because of the abuse.
It is even more harmful because you are the one who wanted to marry her in the first place. It was your decision and you made a bad one. You made a massive mistake by marrying her and you do not want to admit it.
But the longer you stay with her the worse it will be. Your life will not be yours. Your life will be one of misery and disappointment. You will want to die young.
You will think that is something you did to make her act this way. Maybe it is your fault. Maybe you are what she says you are.
Now it is you who are deciding to stay, making a bad decision even worse.
Every minute you stay is your choice. The clock is ticking on your life. What do you do? Do you stay and put up with it?
The harm is damaging.
You have to leave, it is the only way out.
If you think you can put up with it, or block it out, or deal with it you are lost. Your mind is playing tricks on you because of the emotional strain you are under.
A marriage should be a wonderful life experience. You should not hear any negativity from your wife.
You will be told and tempted to think that you need to forgive and forget and that you need to think of all the good your wife does. She may do lots of good. She may be a wonderful person much of the time.
But what you have to realize is that just a few bad incidents, maybe even one terrible incident, will wipe out years of good.
Think of it this way. What if you are the ideal husband? You have a good job. You provide for your wife and family well.
You have a nice home. You take care of things. You do chores around the house. You do what your wife wants. You are a good listener. You are an attentive lover. You are just the ideal husband.
Then one day you come home and beat her up in a fit of rage. The next day you go back to being the kind, generous man you were for all the years before this incident.
Is the wife justified in leaving over this one mistake after a lifetime of good things? Shouldn't she just take the bad with the good? Shouldn't she just forgive and forget?
The answer is obvious. She has to leave this violent monster before he snaps again. She must leave him and not look back. She must never forgive and never forget. It is her life to live. It is not her life to get brutalized and beaten for a violent man.
No, everyone can see how one incident, maybe even one that only lasts a few minutes will cancel out and negate a lifetime of good.
Verbal abuse will damage your mind just as physical abuse will damage your body. I used to think that I could withstand a lot of pain. That I was tough. But that is really a stupid way to think. Why does a man have to be able to endure pain dished out by his wife? It makes no sense. A man may have to withstand pain and punishment and misery, but not from his wife.
That is what verbal abuse does. The small, sarcastic remarks. The cutting criticism. The outbursts. The yelling and the rage. All these incidents build up over time into a life that is not your own. All these little incidents make you love your wife less and hate yourself more.
You have to think about how you want to live your life in a peaceful, loving way. If your wife cannot be the way you need her to be, you must leave your wife.
Return from Verbal Abuse to Handling Difficult People
Return from Verbal Abuse to Personal Development for Men.