Thoughts on spending

There seems to be two schools of thoughts on spending.

The first thought is that you have to decrease your spending, be frugal, be cheap, spend as little as you can, and play constant defense. This is where you cut coupons. This is where you look for sales and discounts. This is where you drive a hard bargain and negotiate hard. This is where you do without and do without.

The second thought is where you spend all you have and try to make more. You spend all your money on the finer things. You go into debt obtaining these things. You work as hard as possible to make more money to feed this type of lifestyle. You rarely do without.

Which is right?

You hear convincing arguments on both sides. You see lots of people doing both.

Maybe they are both right but both wrong.

I tend to think a person has to think for themselves and not get caught up in what the right way is to do anything. What makes you think that either of those two ways is the right way, or the wrong way?

Why not do it your way. Why not look at as maybe certain aspects of both ways are correct?

Because they are both correct if you apply these methods tailored to your life and your needs.

I am tailoring these methods to my needs. Most of my life has not been my own and this has caused me no end of suffering. Whenever I get the chance to do more of what I want, I love it. Whenever I get dragged back into someone's else's reality, I hate it.

My wife controlled my spending throughout our marriage and even in the years after our divorce. She is still trying to do so even though I have been able to stop paying her anything.

She is still this pathetic little creature running around trying to guilt me into doing more for her. I feel enormous guilt for what she was and what she has become. I did not cause her to be this way, but she is this way and it hurts me.

Getting back to the two thoughts on spending. My wife believed in spending all my money and then some on what she wanted. She could not spend it fast enough. She had no trouble spending enormous amounts of my money. But all the things she bought were not what I wanted. Hardly anything was. I bought into the lies that say a husband has to support his wife and do what she says. That is pure garbage. All that money is gone, spent and I have nothing to show for it.

She was the wrong combination of the two schools. She bargained hard and shopped the sales all for things that we did not need.

She spent lavishly on things that did not matter and that locked me into huge payments for years on end.

It was the wrong approach.

The right approach for me now is the opposite.

I want to spend less on the normal, fixed expenses so I have more money for what I really want. This means cheaper rent, lower monthly food costs, lower utility costs, no debts, no loans, and as few of fixed expenses as possible.

I want to spend as little as I can on things that do not add much value to my life.

Then, I want to spend more on the things that do add value. Things like:

1) A better bed.

2) A big recliner.

3) A bigger, better vehicle.

4) Meals out.

5) High speed internet and a great computer.

6) Great shoes.

7) Great clothes.

8) Travel.

The things on my list are expensive. You cannot have these things without spending a lot of money. But these things, except for the vehicle, are not fixed costs. Once you buy those things with cash, you are done until you do them again. The more money you have the more quality and quantity you can have of these.

I choose my thoughts on spending myself. I cannot stand the idea of other people telling me what to do.

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