Your Personal Growth
Is How You Heal Your Past
You can heal your past. Where you are right now is a result of your personal growth and a direct result of you moving toward what you want based largely on moving away from the elements of your past that you found the most frustrating, the most irritating and the most terrible. The things and experiences you hated the most as a young person will be the things you most want to fix as you get older. This pain is a way of showing you what you need to focus on for your personal growth.
I just recently listed out all the things I was dissatisfied with during my freshmen year of high school. Childhood and high school can be a traumatic time for some people. It was that way for me. I would say that if I had not made certain critical changes during my senior year, I would call my entire high school experience a waste. Thankfully I had enough personal growth during the end of my high school experience to not continue on the miserable path I was on.
The circumstances of that time have still irritated me enough for the rest of my life that I find myself thinking about them still. It is like I cannot put it behind me and think of the present. But what the problems of your past are what points you toward your personal growth.
Here are the negative situations I was in that forced personal growth on me:
1) I rode the bus to school every day. I hated it. There was a senior on the bus and he bullied me and gave me a hard time every single morning and every time he saw me at school. This guy ruined much of my freshmen year. His constant and continual ridicule just drove me mad. Why would he have to say such things to me, I thought? I never had an unkind word toward anyone. I never did anything to him. It made no sense. I dreaded the morning bus rides. Whenever he saw me throughout the day he always had some terrible comment directed toward me. I was more thankful for his graduation than my own. I often think of the torment he put me through and how this type of bullying can just ruin a person.
2) I wore tight white underwear, tight, restrictive, too small of jeans and a very tight athletic supporter for football, basketball and gym. I was fat and large since I was a child. I have larger legs and butt and tend to a thick stomach. Finding large enough clothing for me was a real problem when I was young. Even now it is difficult, but much easier than the old days. Even during the times I was leaner, I was still big. I have always struggled to find the correct sized pants. I have since come to realize that wearing excessively tight clothing over your genitals does not help a man at all. It lowers your testosterone and the continuous pressure and squeezing makes this area smaller.
3) I wore ugly glasses. I was ashamed of my looks on a consistent basis. I never felt good about how I looked. I could barely look at myself in the mirror. Those huge, thick, ugly glasses were a constant, daily reminder of how ugly I was.
4) I wore shoes that did not give me much support. My feet hurt at the time and they continue to hurt to this day.
5) The football practice shoes gave no support whatsoever. My feet and lower legs ached as soon as practice started. Those shoes were made of canvas with thin rubber soles. The game day shoes were strong leather with thick soles. They were great but we had to wear the practice shoes all week to save the good shoes for the games.
6) I played basketball and hated it. I am still upset for playing this sport when I absolutely hated it and had no ability to do well at all even though I played and practiced just as much as the other guys. It was not that I was not athletic. I was good at football, just not basketball. My feet were always blistered. I sprained my ankles all the time. I never got in good enough shape to run up and down the floor that well. I never got good enough at the sport to ever enjoy it. I was not good at any aspect of the game. I could not even be a role player because I had no role. It was embarrassing to wear the tiny, short uniforms of the day.
7) I had to wear the same sweaty, smelly gym clothes all week at practices and for gym.
8) There were rarely towels at the school to dry off with after a shower. A bunch of guys would have to share one towel.
9) My parents did not have big towels at home to dry off after a shower. They were not long enough to wrap around my waist. You may think this is not such a big deal, and I guess it wasn't. Wearing sweaty clothes or uncomfortable shoes or a lack of towels. But it just contributed to this overall lack of comfort and just a lack in general of anything resembling a comfortable life. Having a towel big enough to go around you and dry enough to dry you and not covered with another person's filth is just a more abundant way to live. Wearing supportive shoes that do not make your feet ache should be possible.
10) I did not go on dates. I did not have a girlfriend. I had never kissed a girl until I was a junior in school. I hardly even talked to girls in high school. There were not even that many girls around, there were a lot less girls than guys in my class. The ones there were not interested in me.
11) I loved to read. Every time we went to the mall I would spend all my time in the bookstore. But we had such little money that I rarely bought a book. The reading I did at the mall gave me some comfort, enjoyment and personal growth. It was too bad we did not go very often.
This lower standard of living was just how it was for me. It was just where my family and I were at during that time frame. I cannot change the past, but my personal growth is a direct result of not wanting to continue to repeat the things I found most unpleasant of my childhood.
My Personal Growth Includes
1) I have a car. I decide where to go. I no longer deal with buses. Your personal growth can include whatever tools and methods that help you have the type of life you want. Cars, computers, cell phones and even clothes help a person live a better life. I have not been bullied by a man since I have been a freshmen in high school.
I have been bullied my ex-wife,
but that is another story. I have become big, muscular, strong and able to take care of myself. I really have not feared anyone in all this time. I have actively worked on myself enough that I am the type of guy that people would not want to mess with. I choose where I go and what I do so I do not have to deal with idiots and bullies and anyone who would make my life less pleasant or do me harm. You are not going to fix the bullies of the world. But you can avoid dealing with them, being near them and if you happen to be near them, you will not be a target because you are too strong to be bothered. They will choose someone weaker to push around. I know this is hard for the weaker person to hear. But this is the truth. You can rise up above bullying by these methods, getting bigger, getting stronger and getting tougher.
2) I never wear tight underwear. If I need to wear tighter pants, I do not do this for long. The combination of wearing proper clothes, healthier living, exercise and what I have learned about penis enlargement have made that part of my embarrassing past better. You can have personal growth all over.
3) I have nice glasses now and wear contact lenses most of the time. I am very happy wearing contacts and satisfied with my glasses. I no longer am embarrassed of my face.
4) I try to buy as good of shoes as I can and can afford. Being comfortable is what I am always striving for. I cannot stand the whining voices that say it is acceptable to continue to live in discomfort and misery. We are always told that discomfort, pain and misery is the state we should be in. I took that idea to heart as a young man. I thought it was noble to suffer, to live in pain and that living in misery was a state of life that just had to be lived through. I reject all that stupid nonsense now as propaganda put out by the manipulators to keep us in our place. Well, I know my place now and it is not living in misery and lack. My place is living exactly as I want to live, doing exactly what I want to do. That is what I am working toward. That is my prize. Tolerating poor conditions and dealing with bad things is not what I am going to continue to do. As bad things occur, I work on ways to get those behind me. This type of simple personal growth is so rewarding because it is simple. When things come up that you find particularly unpleasant or miserable, you find ways to eliminate that problem. You care how you feel because you want to feel good. Personal growth does not have to be difficult. Sometimes it just takes more money spent wisely on things to make your life better.
5) I no longer play football or participate in competitive sports or risky behavior that is potentially dangerous. And wear good shoes as much as possible. I do not save my good shoes or my good anything anymore. If I have something good I use it, I wear it to the exclusion of everything else. My personal growth includes just using the best of what I have and not saving it for later.
6) I still hate to play basketball so I never do. I do not even like to watch it. I have no desire to spend any time watching March Madness or NBA playoffs. I will hardly ever turn that on. Unless I am out and the TV is on with those games, I have no desire at all for them. I have learned to avoid doing things I hate. If I hate doing something, I do not tolerate it. I don't do it. Life is too short and precious to do things you hate. Once I realize that I hate whatever it is, I try to find ways to stop doing it as soon as possible.
7) I wear fresh clothes now. I have not put on a sweaty t-shirt in 30 years. I will wear as many shirts as it takes in a day to stay comfortable. When I do physical work I just bring multiple shirts. I have learned the importance of having enough good clothes and doing laundry often enough that I never have a time when I do not have nice, clean clothes that I feel good in available.
8) I have plenty good, big towels now. I always have nice, dry towels available. I have learned that the good things in life do not have to be that expensive. Large towels that are washed often is just a pleasurable thing.
9) My towels are big and nice and wrap around my waist. I live in comfort now with the towels.
10) I have gone on lots of dates, had lots of sex, kissed lots of girls and even been married and co-created 2 wonderful children. When I go out now and if there are girls around, some will be interested in me even though I am in my late 40's, balding and overweight. I do not feel ugly or undesirable anymore. I feel fine.
11) I buy books as much as I can now. I borrow books from the library. I read as much as possible on the internet. Having enough to read and finding new things to read and having the time to read is not a problem for me anymore. Reading is what I love to do so I do it. I make the time for it. I cut out everything I can to make sure I have plenty of time to read and I set aside money to buy what books and material I want.
You can heal your past and experience the personal growth you desire. The only other option is to go on living the same life of misery that you did when you were young. You can also just heal your more recent past. There is no real reason to keep living a life of misery when there are so many options and ways for personal growth. You can learn even more about how to use your pain as a guide in your personal growth at the Secret of Deliberate Creation.
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