The steps to being a better dad should not be so hard. Just think what you love about your dad and do those things. Just think what you hate about your dad and do the opposite of those things. Think what you wish for your kids. Get out a sheet of paper and list out what you want to give your kids. List out what you may be doing wrong and want to change.
One simple way to be a better father is to be rich. I know that will strike people the wrong way. We are always told that rich men are bad. They throw their weight around. They always want their own way. They control everything. They will spoil their children. Poor fathers are the ones who love their children the most. Poor fathers are the best.
But is any of this true?
I do not think so. It is better to be a rich dad than a poor dad because the stress of always being short of money takes a toll on your emotional health. You always have to scrimp and save. You always have to do without. You have to make so many sacrifices.
You have to be rich enough to make caring for your children not so difficult. This is the classic way of being a good father that intuitively we know is true. You, the dad, has to be the one to go to work and make enough money to put food on the table, provide the home and buy whatever is needed.
The richer you are the easier this will be and the better your children's lives will be.
If you are struggling financially now it is not the end of the world. You can start to do better in the future and do better for your kids later. It may be that you do better far in the future and you actually do better for your grandchildren. But that is good too. It is better for a child to have a rich grandfather than to not. The child can still get the enjoyment and the experiences from you, a rich grandfather.
The important thing for a man to do to be a better dad is to get busy accumulating the resources necessary to give your children or grandchildren a better life.
Here is something that no one ever talks about.
Don't put your kids in bad situations.
I am always shocked, appalled and saddened and angered when I hear of old men sexually molesting young boys.
The latest scandal is out of Penn State. Before it was priests and boy scout leaders sexually abusing young boys.
These men are, of course, sick and twisted with deep emotional problems and issues with power and sexuality.
They need to be behind bars or in the ground or medicated or managed so they do not get to continue to live out their sick fantasies.
Everyone knows this. It is no secret.
But what is seldom talked about is where are the parents in all of this? Where are the fathers? What are they doing? Why are they allowing this to happen?
Why do parents continue to put their children in these extremely risky situations? Why would you give your children to older grown men?
Why do the parents do nothing after it becomes apparent that their child was molested.
It is not the parents fault that there are evil monsters in the world.
But that does not mean that parents cannot protect their children from the monsters.
That does not mean that parents cannot do away with the monsters once they are discovered.
As a parent you have to be proactive in protecting your children from any of the bad things that could happen. You are the key role player in your kids lives. They need you to take an active role in their lives. Smart choice parenting is what you need to do.
Not with hoping for the best.
Not with more laws and regulations.
You can be a better dad by keeping your kids close to you until they are old enough to care for themselves.
I am lucky now. My son is 17. He is 6'-3" tall and 250 pounds. He is winning all the power lifting meets he is in. I do not have to worry about him being sexually abused anymore. He can take care of himself now.
But when he was small, I never let him go off to camps or to anything that was suspect. I did not have any comfort letting him be with men. He was either with me or with my wife.
I know caring for young children is exhausting. When someone comes along and says they will care for your children well for awhile. They will take them for an afternoon or overnight.
It is tempting to let someone else deal with your kids.
But think about this deeply. If you have a hard time dealing with your children on a day to day basis, why would someone else want to take your kids away for awhile. To me, it would be because they want to do harm to your kids. Maybe the harm is to try to get your kids to follow them or convince them that they know best. But sometimes it is to abuse them.
It is so much better to just take the time now to care for your children until they are old enough to watch out for themselves. You do not want to have to seek vengeance yourself. You do not want to have to wait for law enforcement and legal system to do what is right. They cannot. They can only try to pick up the pieces.
I don't want the pieces picked up. I want the pieces to stay together. I want children to not have to go through the horror.
You really let your kids down when you put them in these bad situations.
Your life will be totally turned upside down when you let bad things happen to your kids.
This is lazy parenting at it's worst. Just be a better dad now and expend a little more energy now in keeping your kids close.
Keep your kids close to you. They will grow up and not need you in this way forever. But they need you to be this way now.
Schools are 90 % women yet. So at least it is unlikely that any form of abuse would happen in school.
What you have to be especially suspect of is if men, and especially older men, take an interest in young boys. It just does not add up. Normal men are most interested in doing what they want and getting laid by women.
Schools are a controlled environment.
I would not let my kids spend any time at a camp.
The stories at all these camps are just so bad.
Do the right thing, be a better dad and keep your kids close.
Get some help with your parenting from Child Behavior Solutions.
When you have a toddler you can learn more at Talking to Toddlers
Perhaps the most confusing time is when your child is a teenager. Get some insight here - My Out of Control Teen
You can be a good dad even if you are single or divorced. I was not a very good dad when I was married. The problems in my marriage took me farther and farther away from being the kind of father I wanted to be and what my kids needed. I had to leave my wife in order to get my life back together and be strong enough to be a good father.