Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #10
Welcome to the Personal Development for Men ezine.
If you did not receive your Free copy of "The Organized Single Dad" eBook when you subscribed, you can download it at the link below -
The Organized Single Dad eBook
Dads are Much Better Now
Than in the Old Days
Dads are getting better as a group. There are problems, of course, with some fathers. Too many fathers abandon their children and provide no support or even love. That should be a crime.
But if you look at the changes in fathering over time you will see that fathers are getting better.
At one time it was acceptable for a father to beat his children and to rule the house with fear and intimidation. Spankings, switches, the belt, the back of the hand and the whip were all used by these fathers to maintain an iron grip on the family discipline. These were criminals and they got away with this criminality because it was the way things were. This was not even that long ago. I still hear stories of these types of fathers. Many of the people in my generation grew up this way and felt the wrath of these supposedly loving fathers.
How a man can beat any child, let alone his own child, is beyond me.
How was beating a child ever considered the right of a father? I hear these stories and am still sickened and sometimes brought to tears thinking of those poor children growing up in fear of their father. Instead of a loving, gentle father, there was father, big and terrible.
Not one person who has recounted these tales has ever indicated that they had any love for their father. How could they when instead of a loving, kind, gentle man who loves his children unconditionally, accepts them as they are he gives them a good beating if they misbehave or sometimes for no reason at all.
When we hear of the bullying, boorish, violent, borderline criminal behavior of some dads now we recoil in shock, horror and revulsion as we should.
100 years ago this type of behavior was considered normal. Now, that attitude is changing. That is a huge change for the better.
During those days fathers were expected to dole out the punishment. There was father big and terrible. Watch out when your father comes home. Wait till I tell your father.
Mark Twain writes about the horror of Huck Finn's father. He did not need to stretch the truth that much. Huck's father was just a compilation of men Mark Twain knew.
I just think that the massive problems of the World Wars were partly to blame on fathers willingly sending their sons to war and the general attitude of acceptance of fathers punishing their sons with violence.
What is a government but a collection of bad father?
The more fathers that are better, more kind, more patient, more gentle and more willing to leave the old, terrible ways behind, the better the world is.
If fathers don't send their sons off to war, that is a big step. The more you tell your son that you disagree with war, that joining the military is wrong, or think you that blindly following the masters is a stupid way to be. I tell my son this all the time. I make sure he knows that he always has a place with me, no matter what. He does not have to join the military to have a place or a job or a place to be. He can always be with me.
You need to keep your sons safe, even if they are over 18 and look like men. Even if our masters say they need our sons to do their killing for them. Even when it seems that everyone expects that joining the military is a good and noble thing. I reject that attitude and expectation. I see it for what it is, a way to make young men into hired killers, doing what they are told. The best thing for a young man to do is to find a way to make a nice living, spend time having fun with his friends, drinking beer, having fun and getting with women. Why would sending a young man around the world to kill who they say kill a good thing?
The default assumption you as a dad has to have is that a president will not hesitate to make a killer out of your son and he will not mind if your son turns into a vicious killer and will not mind if he gets shot at, maimed and killed for the trouble. To the masters, our sons, and us, are just cogs in their machine.
Your response is to not allow it. Once your son is in the military it is too late. They have him now. You cannot change that massive killing system. You can only choose not to join it. There is no change from within. Only in leaving it behind.
If you think your children will forget the beatings or spankings you gave them? Do you think they are going to remember you fondly as they grow up? Do you think they think they deserved the beating? Do you think they will be sad when you die? Do you think they will care one damn about you if you old, in poor health and disabled?
Or do you think they will be happy when they no longer have to deal with you? That they will be happy when you die? That they won't care about your trouble's when you age?
Of course, the less stress you face from a
the fewer children you have the easier it will be to be patient. The richer you are the less stress you will face as a provider. See my ideas on this in my older emails -
Back Issues for Personal Development for Men
But whatever circumstances you are in nothing will excuse abusive, physical, violent behavior. Spanking is violence when there is a child involved.
There is no other way to think about it.
I was lucky, my parents never did anything like this, but the stories I have heard are so sad, I am compelled to be proud of the changes that have happened in the world for the better.
How to Leave Your Wife
The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life. Now that I have left my life has never been better. My kids have never been happier and more at peace.
My daughters Inspirational Story
Sometimes a young girl knows what to do to save herself.
More information from my website on being a single dad. Being a father is great whether you are single or married.
The Handsome Factor - This is a great resource for men, and especially young men to learn how to maximize your appearance.
Here is that link again to The Organized Single Dad, if you missed it.
The Organized Single Dad eBook
You can get the latest from Personal Development for Men at the Blog located at the main webpage. You can most easily get the latest news by subscribing to the RSS feed.
I would love to hear some of your comments on raising your kids and life in general. Leave your comments in the Contact Me section accessed from my main webpage.
Return to Personal Development for Men Homepage.