Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #4
Welcome to the Personal Development for Men ezine.
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Never Let the System Win
Guest article from Mr. Galt
Many of you are subscribing to Hans' newsletter because you're feeling lost, lonely, or because you've taken a big hit recently. Or even more likely, there's been some system that's been reigning over you, and finding that you run contrary to its standards.
If you're young, you might be hearing this at school. Maybe a teacher, coach, or principal has done something "for your own good" that's left you broken and hurt. Or more likely, maybe some miscreant, gangster, or bully has had his (or her) way with you, and convinced you that they can screw with you any way they feel like with impunity. Are they wrong? Oh yeah. But, as "they" always say, you can't fight the system.
If you're older, you might be feeling that women find you unacceptable. Not diesel enough, not rich enough, not smooth enough, not enough. Or, to the other extreme, you may have married a woman who feels no shame from berating you, belittling you, shaming you, or guilting you. And maybe her family, your in-laws, respect you even less than that! Are they wrong too? Damn straight. But, as "they" always say, you can't fight the system.
Who exactly are these boneheads known as "they," and how have them been lying to us this long without facing consequences?!
For the school-age fellas out there, a two-pronged attack is needed. The first part comes from you, and the second would involve your parents, or other adults figures in your life. It's called double-teaming, and it's the best way to teach these bullies how to behave.
I. YOUR RESPONSE: First, you've got to unscrew the top of your head and take your brains out. I mean figuratively, not literally, like Ray Liotta in "Hannibal!" Only good part of that movie besides a young, hot Julianne Moore . . . but I digress. :)
I mean, rewire your thought processes, and then put your brains back in, unlike Liotta! Some charlatan taught you that the system is always right, and you're not permitted to question it. So you followed it like a good little soldier. The little gangsters screwing with you apparently avoided that brainwipe, and instead learned to dance around it, enabling them to avoid any and al consequences for their actions, while you got stuck with it. Insert THESE thoughts in your brain instead:
(A) I EXIST.
(B) I MATTER.
(C) I BELONG.
(D) I DESERVE.
If someone approaches you with the attitude that they can push you around by some divine right, just remember these unbreakable laws. Stand your ground. Don't be afraid. Check your anger though, if they try to piss you off, you might stop thinking and get into trouble.
Now, I don't advocate violence in a school setting. We don't live in a comic book or an action movie. However, if there is someone threatening you with bodily harm, you WILL need to defend yourself. Before that happens, though, you MUST alert the dean, principal, or other person in a position of authority. Tell them that you've been threatened, and you don't know what the little gangster will do next. They may or may not do anything to gangster, because there's been no proof. However, once you tell them about the situation, they're on notice, and the action or inaction that comes next may come back to haunt them.
Once it does escalate, HIT BACK.
II. THEIR RESPONSE.
This is when your parents should step in and the school should recognize. If you followed what I suggested above, the school was on notice of Gangsta's behavior, and did NOTHING. So now that you actually stood your ground and HIT BACK, they're trying to punish you. Place a smudge on your "permanent record" (which is not permanent, by the way), and tell you that you should have let Gangsta just get away with it (which they might now do). BULL.
Refer them to the notice you gave earlier. Ask why nothing was done. Dare them to give you a straight answer before lawyers get involved.
If they wake up, you've successfully double-teamed a bully. First and foremost, YOU stood up to him, which completely usurps his power. Secondly, THE SCHOOL woke up and realized that they shouldn't be punishing you for DOING THE JOB THEY SHOULD BE DOING IN THE FIRST PLACE. THE SYSTEM WILL EITHER FAIL OR CHANGE.
Now we're talking, dude.
For those of us who are older, the same holds true in jobs and in marriage. If you don't draw a line in the sand, you will face office bullying. And despite the fact that society deems it to be politically incorrect to admit it, wives can abuse their husbands just as badly as husbands can abuse wives.
Is someone screwing with you at work? Tell him in the most professional manner that it won't be tolerated, and TELL THE BOSS exactly what he's doing. And if it's the boss that's bullying you, kick the job search into high gear and LEAVE HIS ASS BEHIND. SCREW THE SYSTEM. You can't hit him like you can in school, that will only make things worse, but you CAN stand up for yourself like a professional, and you CAN walk out with your head held high (just get another job to go to first).
Does your wife issue orders, demands and commands? Does she laugh at how little money you make, compared to what she thinks you should make (despite the fact that she thinks she doesn't need to get a job)? Does she demand that you drop EVERYTHING at a moment's notice for her? Does she call you "selfish" because you actually have a few activities in your life that don't involve her? Does she think that throwing fits at every little thing that doesn't go her way is sane, normal, and logical behavior?
SHE THINKS SHE'S THE SYSTEM. SHE'S WRONG.
Half of all marriages end in divorce, and this is one of many reasons why. Women who act like this are no better than the school bullies and office bullies I mentioned above. They must all be treated the exact same way, with RESISTANCE FIRST AND EXPULSION SECOND. Abusive, bossy, controlling, demanding, entitled women DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING.
For more information, feel free to visit my blog,
My comments on Mr. Galt's article
There are still good people in the world. I see it every day when I read articles like this. Here is a man, like me, who has suffered. We have gone through more than our share of traumas, and trouble. Instead of withdrawing into a shell and cursing the world and all it's unfairness, he is out there trying to help men like you who need it.
You can do this too. Share this article. Send it to your friends and family. You can add your information to the mix. You can stand up to the bullies, to the abusers, to the government and to the system. You can show others how.
The world can be great or it can be a prison of abuse, torture, and just learning how to take it. I have chosen the good path after spending far too long in a prison of my own making.
You were not born to take it like a man and obey the system. In the eloquent words of Mr. Galt - You exist, you matter, you belong and you deserve.
How to Leave Your Wife
The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life.
The guest authors website.
Here is that link again to The Organized Single Dad, if you missed it.
The Organized Single Dad eBook
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