People You Admire
I think it is helpful to look at the people you admire and try to determine why you admire them.
This exercise is helpful in the sense that maybe some of the reasons you admire those people is because they are doing things you would like to do or living in a way you would like to live or look the way you would like to look.
I think it is obvious that this is the case.
I admire some of my friends. They do things and act the way I would like to be. They have qualities I would like to have.
I admire some of the relatives of my ex-wife. Some of the men on her side did things I would like to do and lived in a way I would like to live. My ex thought I was jealous of them. I don't consider it jealousy. I consider it motivation. If they can do that why can't I? That is my thinking. I know that the normal school of thought is to be happy with the way things are. But the more I think about that the more it does not make sense.
To my way of thinking, you would want to be happy now, but be working toward obtaining more happiness in some manner.
Doesn't that make sense? Why can't you be happy now and also know that you can be as happy or happier in the future. You just do things with the idea of doing it to make yourself happier. The people you admire are showing potential ways for you to be happier.
Besides, the things I admire people for are because they are doing things that I am very sure would make me happy.
I am also sure that in a lot of ways I am unhappy in a lot of ways.
When you are unhappy you need to determine what is making you unhappy and then do things to minimize unhappiness and maximize happiness.
Some people would just say, well be happy in whatever you are doing.
That is just stupid. How can you be happy doing something if it doesn't make you happy? It is just a ridiculous saying from people who don't know anything. These people cannot see that their own happiness matters. So instead of doing things to make themselves happy they pretend they are happy.
Pretending is a lie. I don't want to pretend to be happy. I want to be happy. There is a huge difference. I have been happy and I have been unhappy. I know what I prefer.
I cannot even count the number of times my wife told me she cannot believe I wasn't happy. If I am not happy, it doesn't matter if you think I ought to be happy. It only matters if I am. You cannot force another person to be happy.
This happens a lot with children. Parents think their child should be happy doing what the parent wants them to do. Wrong. The parent may be happy, but not the child.
The parent may think the child should be in some activity and then wonder why the kid doesn't seem to like the activity. Well, the kid doesn't like it. It is that simple. It doesn't matter if the parent likes it, or the parent spent money on it, or it would be embarrassing to quit now. If the child does not enjoy it, the child does not enjoy it.
This gets back to my idea on quitting and not doing things that you can read if you want.
The big idea is to do things that make you happy as much as possible by doing the things the people you admire do.
What do those people do? How do those people live? What is it about them that makes you want to be like them? How do they talk? What is their line of work? How do they think?
I have had conversations with people I admire and my mind has been blown. It has been mind boggling to hear what they are doing, how they are making a living and how they make money.
These types of stories are inspiring. There are lots of people doing well without just working a normal job. Their type of thinking is mind altering.
I also used to talk to my wife (now ex) about the types of things certain men did and did not do. I would say I really admire so and so for such and such. It would be a friend or family member doing something really different. My wife would pooh-pooh the idea, sometime flying into a rage about how she would never let me do that and if she were that guys wife, she would put her foot down and not allow it.
Well, those guys are still married to their laid back wives who let them do what they want to do.
I left my wife
so I could start to live the way I wanted to live. This seems like a pretty good lesson to men and women, let each other have the freedom and respect we all deserve. The people you admire will have the great relationships that you want. The people you admire will have the great lives that we all deserve. Do those things.
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