A Good Life is Not...
Decide on what a good life is not and then do the opposite.
That is the method you might have to do if you have spent a lifetime doing mostly what you have not wanted to do. Your life has not been your own so you do not even know what to think about. You have a hard time deciding on your goals because you are so used to not thinking about your own needs and your own life. You don't even know what to dream about.
You can stop that. You can stop this in an instant.
You do not have to keep thinking the same tired old thoughts that you do not matter. That is all wrong. The more you think that other people are more important than you are, the worse your life becomes.
If you would just spent the majority of your time thinking about what a good life means to you and then take plenty of appropriate action towards that goal, then that is what you will have.
But you may need to start thinking about what you don't want in order to clarify what you do want.
For me a good life is not:
1) Being verbally abused by my wife.
Hearing verbal abuse from anyone is one of the most harmful things for you. Verbal abuse from your wife will destroy you because you are the one who chose this relationship. The short story of verbal abuse is to leave those people behind.
2) Being criticized by my wife. Same thing as verbal abuse, just not as severe. It still is wrong.
3) Doing things that my wife forces me to do. You should be wanting to do things for the people you love. If anyone has to force you to do something, it means you really do not want to do it.
4) Lying for my wife.
5) Spending money I did not have on things I did not want to try to please my wife. You can only do the best you can do at the time. A good life is not getting in debt and in over your head for someone else.
6) Spending what little free time I had doing things I did not want to do to try to please my wife. It is your life, not your life for your wife to control.
7) Sleeping as little as possible in order to have more time to do things I did not want to do.
8) Eating as much as possible in order to stay alert at work.
9) Never doing anything I want to do.
10) Feeling guilty for doing things I want to do.
11) Feeling guilty for things I had no part in. Like Christ being crucified. I was not alive then. Why should I feel guilty for what might not have even happened if I was not a part of it.
12) Staying at jobs I did not like that much and did not provide much value.
13) Feeling guilty for having fun. I still get this from my family. They do not see the fun in drinking, partying, meeting new women and having sex with strangers. These are things I loved to do as soon as I started doing them as a young man. I put this all aside when I was married. Now that I am no longer married, I find myself still loving this. But I find that it is still not a good idea to tell anyone this.
14) Feeling manipulated into not doing the things I really wanted to do.
Your life is the most important thing in the world to you. No one is more important. You matter. You matter just as much as me, just as much as your wife, just as much as your kids, just as much as leaders in government and just as much as future generations.
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