Do good things for yourself.
You thought I was going to say do good things for others. No, I mean for yourself. Most men spend most of their time, money and energy doing good things for others. That is not the problem. The problem is not doing enough good things for yourself.
If you spend most of your time, money and energy doing good things for others, you are cut out of the mix. What you want to do, you never do. What you want to happen, does not happen. What you want to buy, you have no money for.
This just causes your life to stagnate and wither away. You feel you have nothing to really live for because you do not even know how to live. You have no experience.
If you honestly look at men living a great life you will see that most of the time they are doing mostly what they want. Not what their parents wants. Not what their wives want. Not what their children want. Not what society wants.
You have to discount or forget what other people want and do what you want. You need to do good things for yourself.
It is difficult to think this way because you do not do it and you have been trained since birth to think of others first and to not be selfish.
But what you have really been trained to do is to be a slave to others.
If they were so concerned with not being selfish they would practice that themselves, and not insist you not be selfish.
The way society has us programmed is too difficult to comprehend in a short article. The simpler solution is to just do good things for yourself on a continuous basis starting now. Decide now to be your own best friend and start immediately doing what you want.
There are a lot of simple ways to treat yourself better and some more complicated one.
The simple ways are to do good things and take care better care of yourself:
1. Sleep more. If you are chronically sleep deprived it is usually because of other people. You change your optimum sleeping patterns to fit other people. When I was married I went to bed late when my wife wanted to go to bed. I really needed to go to bed much earlier than she did because I got up 2 to 3 hours before she did. So all the years of my marriage I was not sleeping 2 or 3 as much as I needed. Now my kids like to stay up late during the summer because they can sleep in. I just go to bed when I want to. They complain about it, but this is my health and quality of life I am working on.
2. Eat what you want. You do not have to get caught up in the latest diet craze. You can go about your life in the manner that suits you.
3. Buy the smaller items that you can afford to buy with the cash you have available now. If you have the money available now, just buy it. I used to agonize about these minor purchases to no end. I was always worried that if I spent $20 or $50 or $100 now on what I wanted my life would fall apart. Well, my life fell apart anyway and I never bought anything I wanted. Just buy the smaller items you want now and start enjoying them now.
4. Write lists of the bigger things you want with a timetable that makes sense to you. Then refer to this list often and fix it in your mind so it becomes your reality.
5. Lose the guilt over your past and the past you had no control of. There is no point in feeling guilt over something that happened 2000 years ago. That was someone else. Even if something you did when you were younger was bad, that was someone else too. A younger you. Feeling guilt will not set you free.
You will immediately start to improve your life if you start to do good things for yourself. But what about the big things? You can do that too. It is harder. There is more action needed. There is certainly a lot more time and effort needed for deep thinking.
But this is your life. You need to think deeply about it. If your career is going nowhere, you need to think about that and make decisions to move towards something else. IF you really hate your job, you need to start applying for other jobs. IF you want to go into business, you need to work toward that. If your marriage is bad, you need to think of why it is bad to take steps to improve it or end it.
Things do not get better on their own. You have to cause the change. Not so much by acting without thinking. But by thinking and then acting on what you have decided only after your thinking about it. This is the secret of deliberate creation.
You think and think and think some more. You concentrate on your life to the exclusion of everything else. You do not worry so much about others only in the context of if they are good for you or not. You need to do good things for you.
If your work life is filled with people you do not like that will cause you grief and misery. Instead of wallowing in this and not doing anything about it, you think on what other type of work you would like to do and then get into that. You move toward something different.
IF your marriage is not good, you leave your wife.
This has turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done for myself. It is my ultimate do good things for me.
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