Nothing is as Bad
As a Bad Wife
Is there anything worse than a bad wife?
No. Nothing is as bad. Nothing will cause you as much pain, as much frustration, as much misery. There is no experience worse than being in a marriage with a woman who is not good for you.
Any other experience will not be as bad as a wife who is not good for you. Not the military. Not a bad job. Not a boring life. Not even jail. Not even torture.
This type of living in a
is the worst because you are the one staying in a miserable marriage. Your life is not your own and you have decided to stay for the kids or for the money or because your family would not approve or that god has commanded it or to show how tough you are or to gut it out and be a man.
But you are not being forced even though you think you are.
I know it seems as if you are forced to stay married. No one will tell you to just go ahead and leave your wife. Everyone says to work at it, to not tear asunder what god has wrought, that the two have become one, that it takes work and compromise to make a marriage work.
All of that is stupid garbage stuffed down your throat until you puke and wish you were dead.
I say to forget that stupid nonsense and think about your life for a change. The hell with everyone except what you want.
If no one will support you, at least you know who cares about you at this point in your life, no one.
You need to find someone else who cares.
If you go to your family and friends and tell them you are going to leave your wife, and they say don't do that, what does that say about what they think of you? To me, they do not really care about you. If you have searched your soul to come to the decision that you must leave, then that is what you must do.
I would not really bother talking about such things to family and friends anyway. No one can walk in your shoes but you. It is far better to do what you have to do and let the chips fall where they may.
You will probably find that your family and friends will support your decision, maybe not so much at first. But they will grow to understand.
How can you tell if you have a bad wife? Aren't all wives the same?
You can tell how any person is bad by how they make you feel. That is the only way to tell.
When I was married my wife felt it was her prerogative to tell me how to be. She was constantly criticizing me, constantly telling me what I should be doing, how I should be doing things and even how I should be thinking.
I thought this was normal. So I tried to do things her way to try to make her happy. If she wanted me to mow the lawn in a certain way, that is what I tried to do. If she only wanted me to use a certain amount of toilet paper, I tried to limit how much I used. If she insisted I not use the guest bathroom I didn't. If she said I was too loud in the morning making breakfast, I quite making breakfast for myself, just grabbing a bagel to eat in the car.
But this way of being was killing me. I was a prisoner in my own home. If I wanted to fry an egg for breakfast she would scream at me to not wake the kids. If I mowed the lawn too short she would confront me out on the lawn and berate me in front of the neighbors. If I used the guest bathroom she would get extremely upset, saying how she wanted to keep it nice for guests.
What about your wife makes you afraid? You should never be afraid of any woman you are in a relationship with. This is the exact wrong type of relationship. You should either be able to tell her anything without fear of what she will do or be able to tell her nothing without her being suspicious or her demanding that you talk.
You may be afraid she will embarrass you with her words and actions.
You may be afraid of her reaction.
You may be afraid of what she will do to you.
In all cases that means the relationship is dead. End it and leave your bad wife and start putting your life back together.
My divorce was finalized early last year. I had been legally separated for 2 years prior to that.
Being divorced has been the biggest relief of my life and the best thing I ever did for myself.
It has also been the best thing I ever did for my kids.
They learned that a person does not have to stay in a situation that is not good for them. I showed them it is ok to leave.
How to Leave Your Wife
is my story of the thought process I went through in order to gather the inner strength to go leave my bad wife and go through with it.
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