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Personal Development for Men, Issue #028 - Make it Easy For Your Kids
July 30, 2012
Welcome to Personal Development for Men Issue #28
If you did not receive a copy of the my ebook - The Organized Single Dad when you subscribed, you can get it at the link below. The Organized Single Dad eBook
Make It Easy For Your Kids
Life is Hard EnoughMake it easy for your kids to do well.
Instead of making things difficult for your kids, make it easy for them.
It just seems like a lot of parents put unrealistic expectations on their kids and then get upset if the kids do not do what they expect.
Why not go the other way and not expect so much out of them.
It is okay to expect a lot of yourself. You can control what you do and do not do. But your kids are not you. They may not want to follow your script. They have their own lives to lead.
I am always looking for a way to make it easier on my kids, not harder. I do not want their lives to be filled with struggle and problems that I cause them. There will be enough of that without me adding to it.
When I left their mother it was terribly hard on them. They had to stay with her and they managed for a number of years. We were all kind of hoping that my ex-wife would be the kind of good mother that children remember fondly and with pride.
But that is not what happened.
My ex-wife fell apart. Her mental and emotional problems overcame her.
She can hardly deal with life at all now. She is not well. I cannot understand the system we are in when such an obviously troubled person is allowed to run around loose and cause problems.
The kids and I just deal with her as best we can. We want to concentrate on our lives, not her. She is too maddening and too frustrating. Dealing with her just makes you angry and upset. She brings out the worst in everyone she is in contact with. We just want her to leave us alone.
So, you can kind of see where I am coming from with my kids. They have this mother who is out there causing grief and frustration wherever she is. The kids do not need me to be pushing them to do things or expecting them to do what I want.
I hate that kind of intrusion in my life. Why would I do that to another person?
I do not bark orders at them. I do not expect them to do a lot of work around the house. I do not expect them to go to bed at a certain time or get up at a certain time. I let them decide. They are teenagers and basically very close to being adults.
I do try to guide them with stories and gentle reminders. But there is nothing harsh. There is no guilt or manipulation. Just love, kindness and respect.
If I really need them to do something, I make sure it is crystal clear what that is and keep following up to be sure. Just like when I am dealing with anyone else on the planet. I assume that nobody will do what I really want without me following up.
I use a little light humor to do the job.
I let them know how I want things to be by doing those things myself. I want the house picked up so I keep picking up the house. I want the beds made, so I make my bed. I want to get plenty of sleep so I go to bed when I want to. I want to eat a certain way so I do that.
Do you see what I mean? I am not a lazy parent insisting his kids do all the chores and work around the house while I just sit around. If I want to sit around, and I do, I make sure and hustle to get my chores done and I am always looking for ways to make that go faster.
I left their mother because she is so hard to get along with and has so many unrealistic ideas. The kids left her too because they just could not deal with that amount of drama.
Your kids will be good and responsible if you are. If you set a good example they will follow that. If you are kind, and decent and loving, they will be that way. You do not have to insist they be the way you want them. You just have to show the way.
Hans RecommendsWomens Fashion Made Easy You can help your daughter look good by getting this book. It is an easy way for any woman to look better fast.
How to Leave Your Wife The book is my story of how I found the courage to leave my wife and get on with my life. Now that I have left my life has never been better. My kids have never been happier and more at peace.
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I would love to hear some of your comments on raising your kids and life in general. Leave your comments in the Contact Me section accessed from my main webpage.
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